A Grace Given to Me



Ellisha Grace Ramirez
 

Dear Elisha:

It was 17 years ago today when you came into my world.  You were in a hurry. J
I did one hour of hard labor with you.  It wasn’t so difficult to birth you onto this planet.  But very shortly after you were born, when they took you over to the infant bin to clean you all up, you opened your eyes wide open, stopped crying and began to look all around this great big world.  It was at that moment I knew how very wonderful you were.  I remember how clear the voice of the Holy Spirit was in letting me know that you would do wonderful things.  I was relieved when your dad stormed through the room demanding to see the “President of the Hospital” because he was ready to punch someone in the face because the nurse poked your little foot with a needle.  I knew he was going to protect you.  Believe it or not, he did.  He was always protecting you.  Later that night when Nana and Papa and your Tio and Tia came to visit, I was holding you in my arms.  Your dad was sitting on the other bed and they were talking in Spanish.  Your Nana came over to me and took you out of my arms and went back to everyone else and your Papa began to pray over you.  I didn’t like it.  I didn’t like that your Nana took you out of my arms.  But again the Holy Spirit let me know in that moment that one day I would understand why you were taken out of my arms that night and that He had a specific plan for your life.  I have come to understand that moment. We all knew how fearfully and wonderfully you were created. 

As you began to grow, I saw how independent and smart you were going to be.  I wasn’t wrong.  You brought so much pride to us.  But above anything else, you have brought me so much joy.  God, I miss your smile, your funny skits, your singing, your off the wall comments, your smile, and those eyes.  I have always just looked deep into your eyes and have seen undefiled love. 

Elisha, I have put all of my faith and hope into God for you as I was instructed to do.  I remember every week as I teach others about God’s plans for our lives.  I was instructed very early about what to do with you.  I won’t deny that I want fight for you and tie you up and lock you away in my arms forever.  After watching the Passion of the Christ this past weekend I thought about Mary.  She was warned about the sword that would pierce her heart one day when she would see her son nailed to a cross.  No matter the warning, nothing could have prepared her for what she was going to face, the helplessness, the anguish and suffering that was asked of her.  Even after her son was raised from the dead, He went on to another place, but she was left with a peace in knowing that her love served a purpose. 

I am content in knowing that God’s angels encamp around you.  I trust my Heavenly Father who has ordered every single one of your steps.  I understand why you are where you are.  I know that you are smart and loving and wild and free, and that is exactly how God created you to be.  I just miss you.  But I cherish all my memories I collected over the years.  I see your big little cachetona smiles in my heart from when you were 3.  I hear your laughter from when you were 10.  I see your beauty in all the beauty that surrounds me.  So my prayers continue to thrive for you.  I will always love you, I will always care for you, and I will always treasure you my precious jewel of my heart. 

 

Happy Birthday, Elisha. 

Forever  loving you,

Mom